Take some of the chaos out of your life with a self-care kit that is tailored to your needs. Having a basket or a box of self-care items available can be a priceless tool for managing your physical and mental well-being. The last thing you will want to do in a moment of crisis is go hunting for self-care tools that may or may not work for you. This guide will walk you through building and using a customized self-care kit with all of the essentials, so that you have it ready to go at a moment’s notice. Building this up for yourself can help you cultivate a resource that promotes health and happiness.

Understanding Self-Care

Quick check-in on what I mean when I say self-care, and what I don’t mean. Self-care refers to any activity that we do on purpose to support our mental, emotional, and physical well-being, so that we can show up for each other. As a practice, it has been ground into dust by the wheels of capitalism. So much so that I bet when you first read the title, you automatically thought “what products is she going to try and sell me now?” 

I use self-care in the social justice sense, as a tool for liberation. From this perspective, “self-care” is less about a marketing buzzword to sell face masks, and more a necessary practice to take back some of what is stolen from marginalized communities, so that we can continue to fight for each other. This distinction fascinates me. If you are also curious about radical self-care, then “Reclaiming Self-care: Self-care as a Social Justice Tool for Black Wellness” by Janan P. Wyatt and Gifty G. Ampadu is an incredible resource. I’ve written about self-care as liberation as well, if you’re looking to read more about self-care as a tool for queer people. 

Benefits of Regular Self-Care

I’m scared that with “self-care” becoming a buzzword and a trend, it will become one more thing on our endless to-do lists that we feel bad about never crossing off. Also, the point of self-care is that it leads back to community care, and I don’t want that to get lost. Good self-care is linked to improved mood and reduced anxiety for the person doing it, yes, but that’s not the endgame. Quality self-care can’t be overlooked as a crucial tool for building a good relationship with oneself and others. We all deserve to be taken care of, because we are all worthy just by virtue of existing. I wrote about some of these benefits in my discussion of building low-cost self-care baskets here. For a deeper dive, continue reading.

Feeling stuck and afraid that you are not going to be able to keep up with a regular practice of self-care? Here are some good reasons why we psychologists never stop talking about it. Keep these around for the moments when your motivation drains away, and the last thing you want to do is make time to treasure yourself. May I offer these as helpful reminders?

• Better Relationships: Self-care can help you find the patience to build and maintain close personal bonds with the communities you love. If you are feeling more balanced and fulfilled, you have more patience to meet other people where they’re at, which improves your relationships overall. 

• Reduced Stress: Dedicating time to activities that you enjoy can help to diminish stress and anxiety, which over time leads to a more enjoyable life.

• Improved Physical Health: Nourishing your body again and again improves physical health and reduces the risk of certain chronic issues.

• Enhanced Mental Health: A regular practice of self-care reduces the severity of mental health issues like isolation and worry, and improves overall mental well-being.

Building Your Self-Care Kit: A Step-by-Step Guide

The more personalized and specific your self-care kit is, the more helpful it will be for you. That’s why we start by reflecting on what is calming for you, and what is not. My classic example is playlists on Spotify designed for toddlers. I can turn them on, zone out, distract myself from whatever the current crisis is for a moment, and find some rest that way. I brought this up once in a DBT group, and saw blank looks and disbelief. Where was the love for the toddler playlist? They weren’t having it! And they were right to tell me, because the whole point of building a kit for yourself is to personalize it with playlists or fabrics or whatever components work for you. Personalizing this kit to your own tastes makes this process more complicated, but ultimately more rewarding. 

1. Reflect on Your Needs and Preferences: Chew over which objects or activities make you feel rejuvenated. Consider what you had around you in times when you felt relaxed and what contributed to those feelings. What leaves you feeling calmer?

2. Select Your Items: Choose a variety of items that cater to the five senses. Your kit can be a mix of things for different situations.

3. Maintain and Update Your Kit: Striking the right balance of items that soothe you without boring you is complicated, depending on how often you use the self-care kit. Your needs change over time, and a scent or fabric that used to calm you may not always get the job done. Given the ways our brains make connections to the objects around us when we are stressed, and then that stress returns when we use the objects later, it makes sense to recycle out the items in your care kit when they no longer serve you. Add new items as you discover them, and replace the ones that don’t work.

Essential Components of the Self-Care Kit

Welcome to a step-by-step guide on what you can include in your own self-care kit. I highly recommend going over your list of what to add in your therapy sessions or when talking to a trusted friend. This way, you get to talk through some of the barriers to building and using these kits. I’ve addressed many of the obstacles that come up often here in this article, and there may still be others that you are confronted with.

Items for Your Physical Body

Physical self-care involves taking care of your body inside and out. In DBT we rely on the five senses to provide a framework for what items we can add to our kits. Some items to consider:

• Exercise Equipment: Resistance bands or a yoga mat can provide some movement and stretching for the muscles

• Snacks: What are your favorite tastes? For me this is Gushers, for a hint of 90s kid nostalgia. You can go for nuts or dried fruit, anything canned that is not going to spoil: whatever your favorite flavors are to savor. Keeping track of the amount of snackage or the types of snacks is not the point; it is about giving your body the pleasure of taste, or giving your body the energy or nutrients.

• Soothing Bath Products: They are classics for a reason. Head to your local shop or giant box store for a stroll down the bathing products aisle for a sniff test. Choose the oils, lotions, or soaps that make for a relaxing soak.

• Scratchy fabrics or highly textured items: A particular fabric that grabs your attention when you feel it against your skin makes a great addition to your self-care kit. I like velvet, but one member of my DBT groups went for scratchier burlap and another person liked pleather. Whatever is most soothing to you

Items for Emotional Care

Emotional self-care involves items that help you manage stress and intense feelings. Items that can support you in sitting with those include:

• Journals: Putting words on a page can be a powerful way to process your emotions, particularly if you take the time to physically write the words down on a piece of paper as if it were the 1800s

• Favorite books: Bookmark your favorite scenes ahead of time, or let your books fall open to a random page and dive back into the stories that grant you a reprieve

• Mindfulness Tools: I find that using guided imagery recordings, particularly breathing exercises that have a visual component, can help get me out of my head and back into my body. If it’s not realistic to keep a technological device stowed away in a self-care kit all the time, may I suggest writing down a list of videos to come back to when you need them, or making a separate bookmarks folder on your phone or laptop

• Music Playlists: I swear by my “music to cry to” playlist for when I need an emotional release. What songs would you add to that? Or what alternative playlists make more sense for you?

Items to Inspire Play and Creativity

Creative activities can be an outlet in times when you most need an emotional release. Items to include in this category might be:

• Art Supplies: Coloring books, paper for sketching, colored pencils, or markers.

• Puzzles: Now this one is tricky because the idea is not to put an activity that takes hours and hours to complete when what you need is a quick break, but if that is what is soothing to you I’d hate to leave it off the list! “Where’s Waldo” books can work wonders.

• Hobby Materials: I’ve put supplies for repotting plants in my self-care kit, but if gardening is not your thing, you can add origami paper, a video game controller, a ukulele, or a mini golf set, whatever you like

Customizing Your Self-Care Kit to Fit Different Situations

A self-care kit is only as helpful as it is useful. What good does a self-care kit do if it’s too big to lug around and you can’t access it when you need it?

Adapting Your Kit for Travel

If you are often traveling, consider creating a mini self-care kit to keep on hand. Include items in your travel-sized version of the kit that are easy to pack and reach for on the go, such as:

• Mini Versions of Your Most Favorite Items: Travel-sized containers of lotions or snacks

• Portable Entertainment: A small journal, paperback book, or a small craft project that you can take with you
  
  

Seasonal Adjustments to Your Self-Care Kit

Your emotional and physical needs might change with the seasons. How can you adjust your kit accordingly? For starters:

• Winter: Add thicker, cozier items like hot cocoa mix, or a mystery novel set by the fireside

• Summer: Include sunscreen, stickers for a reusable water bottle, or items for outdoor hobbies

Conclusion

You have the power to take charge of your well-being. By reflecting on your own situation and your own emotional needs, you can tailor a self-care kit to work for you. Remember to regularly update it with the items and activities that most excite you now. By building this kit you are prioritizing your mental health, which can only enhance your overall quality of life. Be kind to yourself, start small, and watch as self-care becomes a regular part of your routine.

And if you don’t yet have a therapist to support you in your self-care journey, we have a ton of resources to help you find a provider that meets your needs like this blog post about finding an LGBTQ+ friendly therapist.