Imagine walking into your office every day and feeling like a part of you has to be kept hidden away. For me as a bisexual person, the question about whether to be myself at my job starts before the first interview. When I’m sitting across from a potential new boss whom I’m desperate to impress, I start to sweat. It’s time to feel them out. Will I tank my chances at this job if I bring up my sexual orientation? Is this job actually queer-friendly? Is she safe to come out to? And then, what about my coworkers? This is a reality for many bisexual people in the workplace. 

Despite increasing awareness and acceptance of LGBTQ+ concerns, bisexual people often face a unique maze of challenges that are overlooked. In this article, we'll get into the workplace experiences of bisexual people, from coming out to the daily struggles and triumphs. By sharing bisexual stories, I’m hoping to foster understanding and inclusivity in the workplace.

Definition and Myths

To be clear: what I mean when I say “bisexuality” is attraction to more than one gender. It may seem straightforward enough, so to speak, but bisexuality is often misunderstood. Harmful myths abound, some of which I’ve already written about in the article “Busting myths about bisexuality.” These mistaken beliefs contribute to the erasure and invisibility of bi people, even within the queer community.

The Importance of Visibility

Representation is crucial for us bisexual people. Bisexual employees deserve to feel seen and valued. It helps take down stereotypes. Also, it can provide a model for those who might be questioning their own sexuality. In the workplace, visibility is one tool to help build a more inclusive environment. Representation matters. By acknowledging bi workers and bosses, we take a step towards greater acceptance and understanding.

Challenges Faced by Bisexual People at Work

One of the most significant challenges we fight is erasure. Bisexual people are often made to feel invisible. Sometimes our legitimacy as a group or as individuals is questioned. Sometimes incorrect assumptions are made, such that we must be either gay or straight. Your colleagues might assume you are straight if you are in a different-gender relationship. Similarly, they may think you are a lesbian or gay if you are in a same-gender relationship. This binary thinking dismisses the validity of bisexuality altogether. Stereotypes prevail. You can end up feeling overshadowed by gay and lesbian peers, or excluded by heterosexual coworkers. It’s gotten bad enough that “bisexual employees are less likely to disclose their sexual orientation at work as compared to gay and lesbian employees,” according to findings from a study called “To “B” or not to “B”: Assessing the disclosure dilemma of bisexual individuals at work.” Specifically, the researchers found that 53% of bisexual people had disclosed their sexual orientation in the workplace, as compared to 70% of lesbian women and 68% of gay men. 

The study “Working Bi: Preliminary Findings from a Survey on Workplace Experiences of Bisexual People” took a closer look at what discrimination looks like for bi people. When it comes to incorrect assumptions bi people face at work, one issue seems to come up again and again. Many people hear the word “bisexual” and get it confused with “polyamorous.” Research published in the Journal of Bisexuality examines this mistaken belief. One respondent to the survey described their coworkers misunderstanding them when they came out as bisexual, and later finding out that their coworkers thought they meant poly. In their words, “not all bisexuals are poly, just like not all heterosexuals are monogamous. But this myth is hard to break.”

Biphobia and Stereotypes

Biphobia, or the prejudice against bisexual people, is another significant hurdle. The study from the Journal of Bisexuality found that heterosexual, gay, and lesbian coworkers and bosses “hold negative views about bisexuality,” which makes it that much harder to want to disclose your orientation at work. According to the research , some of those prejudices include: 

• Being treated as allies at best, not as members of the LGBTQ+ community

• Not being trusted by lesbian and gay coworkers

• Being stereotyped as unreliable and unpromotable by management and leaders.

Discrimination and Harassment

These stereotypes, like the belief that bisexual people are untrustworthy or flighty, can lead to discrimination or harassment at work. A British study conducted by the Economic and Social Research Council found that bisexual people often face prejudice at work. Some of the most common examples of harassment included “being asked intrusive or pushy questions about your personal/private life, receiving intimidating emails, text-messages or photos from people you work with, and being excluded from social activities with colleagues at work.” These biases can show up in subtle ways, like exclusion from after-work hangouts, or overtly, such as derogatory comments. And it doesn’t just affect workplace relationships. Biphobia can also impact career advancement opportunities.

How common are experiences of discrimination at work? “24% of all cisgender bisexual employees reported experiencing discrimination at work—including being fired or not hired—because of their sexual orientation,” according to a study called The Role of Sexual Orientation and Gender in Workplace Experiences of Cisgender LGB Employees. This research, conducted by the Williams Institute of UCLA, found that discrimination at work is more common among bisexual men than bisexual women. Specifically, “60% of cisgender bisexual men who are out at work experienced verbal, physical, or sexual harassment compared to 38% of out bisexual women.” For many bisexual workers, harassment or discrimination is enough to make them quit. In fact, researchers in this study found that “58% of bisexual men and 50% of gay men said they had left a job because of unfair treatment compared to 35% of lesbians and 29% of bisexual women.”

Mental Health Impact

How does all of this impact you psychologically? The challenges of invisibility, erasure, and harassment take quite a toll on your mental wellbeing. Bi people experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and stress due to these negative experiences. The fear of being misunderstood or judged can lead to isolation. It's essential to recognize the mental health impact of these workplace challenges. And it’s critical to provide support for bisexual employees.

One bisexual person in the study I referenced above that got published in the Journal of Bisexuality went into detail about what this is like for them. In their own words, “when someone says they don’t believe bisexuality exists, it is DEEPLY painful—in effect, that person is putting my very existence as a human being up for debate. Bisexuality is real and valid. It’s not any more of a phase than being lesbian, gay, or straight. I’m also exhausted by having to keep having this same conversation with people who should be my allies. Those opposing the LGBTQ community rarely forget the bisexuals—we don’t get half-fired from jobs, or half-beaten up by bigots, or half-discharged from the military. The choice is to be out or closeted.” Couldn’t have said it any better myself.

Should You Disclose Your Bisexuality?

You get to make this choice for yourself. Deciding whether to come out at work is deeply personal. Be forewarned that coming out sometimes takes repetition. It is not usually a “one and done” kind of conversation. You may end up having the discussion multiple times with different people. Things to keep in mind when deciding whether to be open at work: safety within the workplace culture, reactions from colleagues, and your own comfort level. There is a real risk of discrimination wherever you work. At the same time, being out might lead to greater authenticity and support. Each person’s situation is unique, and it's important to respect those different experiences. 

Finding Allies

Having people on your side at work can make a big difference for bisexual people. Allies are supportive coworkers or bosses who stand up for you against discrimination. In addition, allies can promote inclusivity in the general environment. For me, even having just one person I can lock eyes with when someone else says something shady about my community makes a huge difference. Being bi in the workplace can be so isolating. And the best antidote to isolation is connection. One place to connect with allies is LGBTQ+ employee resource groups. Keep an ear out for colleagues who show support for queer issues. If you are looking to build a sense of community, connecting with allies really helps. There is safety in numbers. Allies can provide a safe, welcome respite from a discriminatory workplace.

Navigating the Workplace as a Bisexual Person

In the article “How Feeling Safe at Work Helped Me Come Out as Bisexual,” one man describes the importance of trusted allies in his journey of self-acceptance at work. In his own words, “Work became my safe space, where I practiced saying things like “I’m bisexual” out loud, without stumbling. And the more open my sexual orientation became, the more I heard from other guys who revealed to me that they were also bi. They told me that seeing me come out as bisexual gave them the courage and confidence to think about doing the same.”

Finding Inclusive Workplaces

If the situation at your job is not so welcoming, you might consider making the move to a more queer-friendly space. If that is an option for you financially, there’s no better choice you can make for your mental wellbeing than to leave the toxic job behind in search of rainbow pastures. Bearing in mind that no job is perfectly inclusive, there are still some companies that have made significant strides. Lots of organizations nowadays speak about their commitment to diversity and inclusion. Do a little research ahead of time, by contacting current employees there or working your network, to try and find out all you can about which companies live up to those ideals. Signs that a business has created a more inclusive environment include supportive policies, employee resource groups, and regular diversity training.

Finding Role Models

I want to end this article by voicing some success stories that I have seen. In my own life, I am always keeping an eye out for other bi people who thrive in their careers. Lots of us bi babes seem to work in the entertainment industry, and in fact the first person I thought of was actor Stephanie Beatriz. Comedians like Wayne Brady have recently come out as bisexual, while singers like Halsey and athlete Megan Rapinoe have been vocal about being part of this community for much longer. Ryan Russell is the first openly bisexual person in the NFL. I don’t have a ton in common with any of these famous names. And yet their stories serve as proof that bisexual people can thrive and find satisfying work lives. I hope that highlighting these role models can provide encouragement for all us less-famous bisexual people at work. 

To sum up: bisexual people face challenges in the workplace. Those can range from erasure and biphobia to mental health decline. Many of us bisexual people thrive in our careers anyway. Look out for future articles to see how workplaces can play a significant role in this journey. Those options might include creating inclusive policies, providing education and training, or building employee resource groups to better support us. In the meantime, no matter where you are on the journey of self-acceptance, I hope you know that as isolating as it can feel, you truly are not alone. Reach out here for supportive, affirming therapy.