Sex Education and Bisexuality: Filling in the Gaps

Introduction

When we think of sex education, most of us picture an awkward high school health class. We learned about abstinence and anatomy. Maybe, if we were lucky, we learned a little bit about safe sex. But for us bisexual people, traditional sex education probably left us with more questions than answers. Why? Because most curricula still focus on heterosexual relationships, leaving bisexuality (and other LGBTQ+ identities) out of the conversation.

Sex ed is designed to help us understand our bodies, relationships, and desires. If you’re bisexual, you might feel like you were left to figure out a lot of things on your own. So, let’s dive in and explore how sex education can better serve the bi community, and why that’s so important for your mental and sexual health.

The Gaps in Traditional Sex Education

Current State of Sex Education in the United States

For the most part, sex ed in the United States comes in two flavors: abstinence-only, or so-called “comprehensive.” “Comprehensive” sex ed typically includes lessons on safe sex, common contraceptive methods, pregnancy, sexual health, and how to avoid sexual advances that are unwanted. According to research from the Journal of Educational and Psychological Consultation, “less than half of all states in the United States require that schools provide information about contraception as part of sex education.”

The research around this shows better outcomes for comprehensive than abstinence-only, and not just in terms of lower teen pregnancy numbers. For example, one meta-analysis study from 2012 found that “comprehensive sex education was associated with a decrease in sexual activity, fewer lifetime partners, and an increase in the use of condoms among young adults.”

Focus on Heteronormativity

Here’s the thing with comprehensive sex education: most sex ed curriculums are designed with one major assumption—that everyone is straight. The lessons revolve around cisgender, heterosexual relationships. The focus is more about preventing pregnancy than teaching about sexual identity, pleasure, or diverse relationships. If you’re bisexual, you probably didn’t see yourself reflected in those lessons. You are left to wonder, where do I fit in?

As of 2020, 11 states have policies that require sexuality education to be LGBTQ+ affirming or to include content about LGBTQ+ youth. 9 states prohibit teachers from mentioning LGBTQ+ people at all during sex classes, or require them to portray LGBTQ+ people negatively. That information comes from the Sex Ed State Law and Policy Chart.

According to a study from The Journal of Sex Research, the experience LGBTQ+ kids have is that these comprehensive classes ignore sexual minority youth. The authors found the LGBTQ+ kids taking these sex ed classes “often feel that some programs pathologize same-sex sexual behaviors and that sex education curriculum is heterocentric; couples are assumed to comprise a woman and a man.”

Binary Thinking in Sexuality

Another big issue is that if LGBTQ+ identities are mentioned at all, the conversation is framed in a binary way. Either you’re gay or you’re straight. No other options allowed. As we know, bisexuality exists outside of that binary! It’s not just about being attracted to “both” genders—it’s about being attracted to more than one gender, and fluidity in those experiences. When the focus is only on straight or gay relationships, it leaves me as a bisexual person feeling invisible.

Lack of Intersectional Perspectives

And let’s not forget about how race, gender, class, and other factors interact with sexual identity. Bisexual people of color, non-binary bisexual people, so many of us have unique experiences that most sex ed programs don’t address at all. The result? We are left alone without the tools and understanding we need to navigate all of this confidently.

The Impact of These Gaps on Bisexual Individuals

Erasure and Invalidation

Have you ever heard someone say that bisexuality is “just a phase” or that bi people are “confused”? These stereotypes are rampant in society, sometimes even within the queer community. When bisexuality isn’t represented in sex ed, it only reinforces those harmful narratives. The result is a sense of erasure and invalidation. It’s like your identity isn’t real or legitimate.

Internalized Biphobia

If you are constantly told that bisexuality isn’t valid or that it’s less “real” than being gay or straight, it can lead to internalized biphobia. This can manifest as self-doubt, shame, or feelings of inadequacy. Each of these has a serious impact on your mental health.

Mental Health Consequences

The psychological toll of being left out of the narrative can’t be overstated. When your identity isn’t acknowledged, it can contribute to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Bisexual people already face higher rates of mental health struggles than their gay or straight counterparts. Lack of validation in educational spaces certainly doesn’t help.

Problems With Alternate Sources of Education

For bi teens who have unanswered questions after their school’s sex ed classes, there aren’t a lot of good options for where to find out more. Younger generations with internet access do have more open paths to getting their questions answered. At the same time, there is a lot of incorrect or biased information for them to wade through online.

For many heterosexual kids, they can turn to their guardians and parents for more information. In fact, for straight kids, “parent-child communication about sex is associated with less engagement in sexual risk behavior,” based on the study Parent-adolescent sexual communication.

That’s not so easy for bisexual teens, particularly after they come out to their families. In fact, one study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that for bisexual male teens, conversations about sex tend to be shorted and only focused on HIV-risk and condom use. The bisexual teens in that study missed out on the conversations straight teens got about physical development, or dating, or sexual decision making, or consent.

The Importance of Inclusive Sex Education

Acknowledging and Validating Bisexuality

The first step is to recognize and validate bisexuality in sex education curricula. When bisexual people can see our experiences reflected in what we’re learning, it can lead to greater self-acceptance and confidence. It helps drive home the message that our feelings are normal, that none of us are alone, and that we deserve healthy, fulfilling relationships, just like anyone else.

Safe Sex Practices for Bisexual People

Inclusive sex education should also address the unique health needs of bisexual people. One example is to include discussions of safe sex practices in both same-sex and different-sex relationships. Additionally, offering information on STI prevention across all types of sexual activities would be helpful. Bisexual people deserve to be equipped with the knowledge to protect their sexual health, no matter who they’re with.

Proper Timing of Sex Education

One study compared bisexual, lesbian, and straight female teens. Their results indicate that the timing of sexual health education was critical, particularly for bisexual students. The study, “Does Sex Education Help Everyone?” found that while the timing of sex ed classes did not change the use of birth control pills for heterosexual and lesbian teens, “receiving sex education before engaging in sexual intercourse with a male partner was associated with a significant increase in birth control use among bisexual participants.”

Consent and Communication

Navigating relationships as a bisexual person can sometimes involve complex conversations around boundaries, desires, and preferences. Another study shows how important these conversations are to bisexual and LGBTQ+ teens. They published their findings in the article “A mixed methods study of sexuality education experiences and preferences among bisexual, pansexual, and queer (bi+) male youth.” They asked high school students to describe and rate the sex education they had received. 1/5 of the student participants “expressed the desire to learn more about how to communicate with one’s partner, especially in regard to giving and asking for consent.”

Their results are striking. One student, when asked what they wanted to learn more about, shared '“mostly consent, especially for cis people when they meet a trans person. If you would like to have sex with [a transgender person] and you’re not familiar with how to establish those boundaries…with a trans male, they might not be comfortable with you touching [certain parts of their body].” Open dialogue about boundaries and needs is crucial for everyone. That said, it’s especially important for those whose sexual identities may not be widely understood or acknowledged.

Accessing Affirming and Inclusive Sex Education

LGBTQ+ Friendly Resources

If you’re feeling like your sex education didn’t quite cover all the bases, no need to worry. There are plenty of resources out there to help. Websites like Planned Parenthood and The Trevor Project offer inclusive, sex-positive information. You can trust that their materials will acknowledge and validate bisexuality.

Community-Led Workshops and Peer Education

Sometimes the best education comes from within our own community. LGBTQ+ workshops, discussion groups, and peer-led education initiatives can be incredible spaces. They offer the opportunity to learn about sexual health in a way that is relevant and affirming. Whether in person or online, these spaces afford the chance to share experiences, ask questions, and learn from people who understand what it’s like to navigate bisexuality.

Therapy and Counseling

For bisexual people dealing with feelings of shame or confusion, therapy can be an invaluable tool. Speaking with an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist can help you explore your identity in a safe, supportive environment. It’s also a great space to work through any internalized biphobia or mental health struggles you might be facing as a result of invalidation of erasure.

Conclusion

Bisexuality deserves a place in sex education, without a doubt. When bi identities are included and celebrated, it empowers us to embrace our sexuality, protect ourselves, and enjoy healthy relationships. Until mainstream sex ed catches up, there are resources, communities, and professionals who can provide the support and education we need to thrive.

Let’s work together to get those gaps filled.