How to Support Trans Kids’ Mental Health
Why Supporting Trans Kids Matters
Hey there! Let’s dive into something really important — how to support the mental health of trans kids. It’s only been one week since the inauguration of Donald Trump. Anyone else feel like actually it’s been 100 years? The attacks on the rights of trans people, kids especially, are coming in fast. You might be wondering: What can be done about this? Maybe it feels hopeless. Well, research shows that trans kids who feel affirmed and supported are much more likely to thrive emotionally, socially, and academically. That was true before this president took office, and it will be true long after his administration has ended. On the flip side, without support, trans kids face higher risks of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.
But here’s the good news: Whether you’re an ally, parent, teacher, or friend, there are plenty of practical steps you can take to help make trans kids feel seen, valued, and loved. Each of us has the power to make a huge positive impact. Let’s explore how you can do just that!
Creating Affirming Spaces At Home
Home can become a place where kids can live as their authentic selves without fear of judgment. Here’s how you can create that welcoming space:
Use their chosen name and pronouns: This simple act is step one. Don’t underestimate it. Respecting a child’s name and pronouns signals that you see and accept them for who they are.
Start and continue conversations about gender: Make it clear that there’s no right or wrong way to be a boy, girl, or nonbinary person. Talking openly helps trans kids feel safe sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Show visible support: Displaying symbols like a Pride flag or reading LGBTQ+ inclusive books can send a message of affirmation. I just finished reading The Queer Girl is Going to Be Okay by Dale Walls, which I recommend wholeheartedly. It centers the friendship of three queer high schoolers living in Texas. Reading it feels like a gentle hug- if that’s also what you’re wanting right now.
Another good resource: Boston Public Library released their list of “14 Children's Books Starring Trans or Gender-Nonconforming Kids” last month. It has a good range of picture and chapter books for different ages and reading levels.
Finding Affirming Spaces In Schools
Schools are a big part of a child’s world. Having an inclusive environment makes a powerful difference to their mental health. Here’s what to do to build an affirming network at school:
Advocate for inclusive policies: Encourage the adoption of guidelines that respect trans students’ rights. Think access to appropriate restrooms. Can your kid participate in activities that match their gender identity? These protective guidelines are under attack in several states. Your school might need your help to fight back!
Get clear on what your rights are: Anti-trans lawmakers have passed unconstitutional laws in many states, aimed at hurting trans kids. Even so, there are federal laws in place that cannot be negated by state-by-state rulings. Advocate 4 Trans Equality is a good starting point to learn more about the federal laws that protect transgender students from discrimination at school. Their website also lists a step-by-step guide for how to file a complaint with the Department of Education, if you are considering taking that step.
Educate teachers and staff: Support training programs that help educators understand the unique needs of trans students. We can’t show up for trans kids without listening to them about what they need.
Foster peer acceptance: Promote diversity and inclusion initiatives that help all students feel valued.
Connecting to Affirming Spaces In the Community
Finding affirming spaces outside of home and school is also important. Seek out LGBTQ+ youth centers or groups. Here in New York, one local resource to check out is the Pride Center of Staten Island. They run a group called G-Spec, a support and discussion group for trans and gender-expansive kids between the ages of 13-17. In Chicago, the Brave Space Alliance is a black and trans-led community center with a host of resources and groups for trans kids to check out.
The Power of Listening
Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen. Really listen.Let trans kids express their feelings. Avoid jumping in with advice right away. The point of listening is not to give advice. The point is for them to walk away from the interaction feeling heard. These steps can help:
Ask open-ended questions: Try gentle prompts like, “How are you feeling about school lately?” or “What’s been on your mind?”
Validate their experiences: A simple “That sounds god-awful” or “Thank you for sharing that with me” can go a long way in showing empathy.
By truly listening, you communicate that their thoughts and feelings matter.
Educate Yourself (And Keep Learning!)
One of the best ways to support trans kids is by staying informed.
Read up! Books, articles, and online listicles abound! Get informed about gender identity and LGBTQ+ issues.
I want to recommend Raquel Willis, and her piece for Teen Vogue that came out this week. It’s called Dear Trans Kids, You Don't Need the Government's Permission to Exist and it’s excellent. If you live in an area where you might get a chance to hear Raquel speak at a live event, DON”T HESITATE! I went to a reading of her memoir about discovering her trans identity back in October of 2024, and she is simply incredible to listen to. In the article, she writes, “Remind yourself constantly that no one gave you your identity, truth, or power, and no one can take them away without your permission.” If I had the power get this spray-painted on the side of every building in New York City, I would.
Attend workshops: Many organizations offer training sessions or webinars on how to be a better ally. The Trevor Project is one resource to find local gatherings and trainings near you. Also, shout-out to the Trevor Project’s comprehensive resource, Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Nonbinary Young People. Don’t skip this one!
Follow advocacy groups: Groups like PFLAG and GLAAD provide valuable insights and updates. GLAAD even has a page on their website gathering together a master list of these groups.
By learning continuously, you show that you care enough to understand their world.
Encourage Mental Health Practices
Mental health isn’t just about therapy. It’s also about daily practices that help kids feel balanced and resilient.
Mindfulness Activities: Mindfulness can help manage stress and anxiety. Try simple exercises like deep breathing, guided meditation, or grounding techniques such as naming five things you can see, hear, or feel.
Creative Outlets: Encourage kids to express themselves through art, journaling, music, or other creative pursuits. Creativity can be a powerful tool for processing emotions.
Physical Activity: Whether it’s dancing, hiking, or playing pickle-ball, movement boosts mood and self-confidence.
Accessing Professional Support: Sometimes, professional help is necessary to navigate mental health challenges. Use this link for a good starting point on how to find LGBTQ+-affirming therapists. Look for mental health professionals who specialize in working with trans youth.
Know the signs: Persistent sadness, social withdrawal, and changes in eating or sleeping habits might indicate that a child could benefit from therapy.
Normalize seeking help: Frame therapy as a positive, proactive step rather than something to be ashamed of.
Building a Support Network
It takes a village—and that village should be affirming and supportive. That can look like connecting with other families. Look for local or online support groups for families of trans kids. Or, you could try joining advocacy groups: Many organizations offer opportunities to connect with others who share similar experiences. Lastly, you want to encourage peer connections. Help kids build friendships with others who accept and affirm them.
Becoming a Champion for Their Authentic Self
Your support can be transformative. Standing up against discrimination is one powerful way to support the mental health of the trans kids near you. Whether it’s correcting a misgendering incident or advocating for policy changes, your voice matters. Whether or not you are part of queer community yourself, you can model pride and confidence. This will help kids see that their identity is something to be celebrated. And finally, don’t forget to show them a hopeful future. Find and share stories of successful, happy trans adults to help them envision their own bright path.
Hopelessness Is A Trap
Supporting trans kids’ mental health is all about creating environments where they can thrive, feel seen, and know they’re loved just as they are. We can get trapped in the overwhelming amount of anti-trans laws and rhetoric out there. By listening, learning, and advocating, you’re helping to build a world where trans kids can grow into strong, confident, and joyful adults.
So here’s my wish for you: Keep showing up, keep learning, and keep being the amazing ally these kids need. Love, respect, and validation go a long way—and trust me, the difference you make is real.