Self-care basket ideas
Exploring the history of self-care, from its roots in the political and social justice scene to the ways it is practiced currently, gives us new ideas for how to prioritize self-care as a practice. How can you take good care of yourself? How can you believe that you are worthy of quality self-care? Knowing that good self-care can never make up for systemic oppression, how can we find small ways to replenish ourselves? Read on for a list of free self-care basket ideas, to help LGBTQ+ people find what works for us.
Roots of Self-Care Practice
“Sometimes I feel like I am living on a different star from the one I am used to calling home. It has not been a steady progression. I had to examine, in my dreams as well as in my immune-function tests, the devastating effects of overextension. Overextending myself is not stretching myself. I had to accept how difficult it is to monitor the difference. Necessary for me as cutting down on sugar. Crucial. Physically. Psychically. Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
When Audre Lorde, Black lesbian feminist writer and advocate, was diagnosed with breast and then liver cancer, she wrote a series of essays about grappling with death and a life well lived. The quote above is taken from one of those essays, A Burst of Light, that was published in 1988.
In the time since 1988, White culture and capitalism have figured out how to make money off of her words, and the idea of taking care of yourself has become a billion-dollar industry. Her message on the necessity of self-care has been stripped of the context of her life and used to sell anti-wrinkle cream.
A 2022 study published in the Community Mental Health Journal talks about what self-care can mean in Black communities. “Reclaiming Self-care: Self-care as a Social Justice Tool for Black Wellness” by Janan P. Wyatt and Gifty G. Ampadu gets into what a modern-day self-care practice can look like. Here are their words, acknowledging the “necessity for minoritized groups to engage in self-care as means of thriving within spaces and systems that continue to harm their personhood and communal existence.” They held up the community health clinics of the Black Panther Party as an example of how to use self-care as a “tool for social justice in efforts to resist the oppressive systems that threaten the health and wellness of Black people.” If you’d like to explore more about how self-care can be part of liberation, click here.
Defining Radical Self-Care
The authors of this research go on to differentiate the self-care of consumerism, which is about treating yourself to products that cost money, from the self-care of a holistic wellness practice, which centers the mental health of Black people. They define radical self-care as “a Black feminist ideology/praxis… rooted in the principles of self-determination, self-preservation, and self-restoration.” This is much more in line with the work of Audre Lorde, and in fact they name her in this article as one of the earliest voices in radical self-care, along with bell hooks and Gloria Anzaldua.
bell books, author, educator, and social critic, wrote about self-care as self-love in her book All About Love: New Visions. “Whether we learn how to love ourselves and others will depend on the presence of a loving environment. Self love cannot flourish in isolation,” she writes.
Gloria Anzaldua is a scholar of queer theory, Chicana feminism, and cultural theory. She spoke about writing as a form of self-care across her career. “Why am I compelled to write?... Because the world I create in the writing compensates for what the real world does not give me. By writing I put order in the world, give it a handle so I can grasp it. I write because life does not appease my appetites and anger... To become more intimate with myself and you. To discover myself, to preserve myself, to make myself, to achieve self-autonomy. To dispel the myths that I am a mad prophet or a poor suffering soul. To convince myself that I am worthy and that what I have to say is not a pile of shit... Finally I write because I'm scared of writing, but I'm more scared of not writing.”
If we as queer people were to go back to the original meaning of self-care from Lorde and hooks and Anzaldua, what would self-care mean? Firstly, it would mean that self-care is essential. If we skip it, a sense of deprivation can arise leading us to impulsive behaviors and a feeling of general hopelessness. It differs from self-soothing in that the goal of self-care is replenishment, such that we can go back out into the world re-energized and ready care for our communities and the world around us. At the center of the practice of self-care lies the belief that you are worthy of being cared for, as one member of your community. From a place of self-care, feeling newly nourished, we are able to push that care outward, replenishing our families and our communities. It’s less about doing what feels good to us, and more about doing what is necessary for our bodies and our spirits.
Self-Care Menu: What to Keep in a Self-Care Basket
Here is a list of ideas of how you can take care of yourself. How you can replenish. How you can nurture what hurts in body and spirit so that you can return to your communities and keep doing the work.
Paper and pens: Make like Gloria Anzaldua and commit some of your thoughts to paper. Doodle, trace, practice your calligraphy, write down every swear word you know in every language.
The softest fabrics you already own, particularly any warm socks: Put on your coziest socks and stretch your hamstrings. Sitting bent over a desk or hunched over a phone can make these muscles in our legs tighten over time. Stretching them out again is self-care in the most direct, physical sense. Bend at the waist and reach towards your toes. Feel the floor underneath your feet, feel the comfortable fabric of your clothing, and focus on the sensation of these muscles as you move.
Your favorite mug for sipping a hot beverage: This self-care skill is rooted in mindfulness, in that it requires intentional focus on the taste of the beverage or the warm feel of the mug. If you feel yourself getting pulled into distracting thoughts, forgive your tired brain and try to come back to the taste and the feel.
Any out-dated technology that you enjoy tinkering with: Think retro: play music on a record player or type on an old typewriter. Any old-school technology that you don’t get to use every day and that you find pleasant to fuss with will fit the bill.
A sticky note or a piece of paper: Put a reminder on it to lift up your shoulders to your ears, tense them as tight as you can, and then release and let them drop. Repeat several times. This is an example of Progressive Muscle Relaxation, which comes from DBT, a type of behavioral therapy. It is designed to be paired with your breathing, such that you inhale as your shoulders rise and exhale as they release.
If you already have a musical instrument, keeping it in a self-care basket makes a lot of sense. Practicing a newly acquired skill, like playing a musical instrument, helps you stay mindful. The unfamiliarity of a newer skill will force your brain to remain focused on it as you play.
Shelf-stable pasta, grains, or lentils: if eating it yourself is soothing to you, perfect to keep in arms reach. If you want to contribute back to your community through a volunteer organization like Lasagna Love, this could be a good idea as well. Lasagna Love provides baked goods to families in need. If baking or cooking relaxes you, then cooking some food to share might help relax you as well. This will help you remember that self-care goes beyond just doing what is necessary and good for your body- the point of self-care is to replenish you so that you can contribute to your community.