Sexual orientation test: Using the Klein grid
Today we’ll explore one specific tool designed to help you deepen your understanding of your sexual orientation and identity. Originally developed by groundbreaking researcher and founder of the American Institute of Bisexuality, Dr. Fred “Fritz” Klein, this tool is designed to give you a deeper look at various parts of your sexual orientation. The grid teases apart some of the overlapping threads of sexual identity to help you look more closely at the different components that make up this part of you. My hope is that this tool gives you a place to start thinking about your own sexual orientation with nuance and joy!
One disclaimer before we dive in; this test will not give you one clear answer. I would argue that any instrument that gives you one clear answer on a subject as complex as human identity is doing you a disservice. This is complex stuff! Do not take this test in search of one clear word that will encapsulate the whole of your sexual identity. After all, “sexual orientations are too complex to be broken into simple, well-defined categories,” as the American Institute of Bisexuality puts it. So what will this test actually show you? Who designed it, and what was their purpose? To find out, we have to look back to 1932, and to the biography of Dr. Fred “Fritz” Klein.
And speaking of names, unfortunately Dr. Fred “Fritz” Klein does share his name with another Dr. Fritz Klein you may have read about. I want to be very clear in differentiating the groundbreaking bisexual researcher we’re talking about today from the other Dr. Fritz Klein, who was in fact a war criminal and member of the Nazi party. Very much not the same person!
Groundbreaking Bisexual Researcher
Born in Vienna in 1932 to Orthodox Jewish parents, the Dr. Klein I’m writing about today moved to New York City with his family to escape the Nazis. He became a psychiatrist and founded the Bisexual Forum, one of the first organizations focused on bisexuality in the world. In the 1980’s Dr. Klein moved to San Diego. That’s where he founded the peer-reviewed Journal of Bisexuality. He stayed on as the journal's principal editor until the time of his death. He was doing this research and editing these journals at a time when there was very little academic information out there about bisexuality, and such stigma against it that many research institutions avoided even mentioning its name.
In 1978, he published his book The Bisexual Option. Inside was a tool for measuring not just sexual behavior, but fantasies, sexual attraction, political preferences, and more. At the time he published this tool, the most widely used test for describing sexual orientation was the Kinsey Scale. Still commonly used today, you may have seen its classic spectrum, ranging from 0, exclusively heterosexual, to 7, exclusively homosexual. These categories of “exclusively homosexual” and “exclusively heterosexual” collapse many different parts of identity down, which is a bit of an oversimplification. What Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his cowriters were really asking about were “contacts and reactions,” ie, with whom are you actively having sex and with whom do you experience sexual arousal.
The reality is messier than that. One example would be a bisexual man in a monogamous relationship with a heterosexual female partner. His sexual behaviors and his sexual attraction might fall on very different places in that continuum. Enter Dr. Klein, and his Klein Sexuality Grid.
Take it in for a moment. Note the level of detail. Without getting overwhelmed by the complexity here, let’s get into what these rows and columns actually mean. Approach this instrument with a beginner’s mind, as we say in DBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy. What I mean is, approach this new information with curiosity rather than judgment, holding onto an openness to the possibility of new truths.
Including Nonbinary and Gender Non-Conforming People
Where on this graph do nonbinary and gender non-conforming people go? It’s not immediately clear. To my interpretation, “same sex” refers to people who are the same gender as me, in my case, female. “Other sex” refers to anyone from a different gender, i.e. male, nonbinary, gender non-conforming, etc. We run into trouble though when Fritz Klein writes “both sexes.” There are more than two sexes, and many people approach gender with a fluidity anyway. So to say “both” is factually inaccurate. This 1978 wording directly excludes people who are not male or female. So updating this language a bit for 2024, I’m interpreting “both sexes” to refer to “both mine, and all others.”
Making Sense of the Klein Sexuality Grid
Here are definitions of the variables, as described by the American Institute of Bisexuality.
Past: Your life up to 12 months ago
Present: The most recent 12 months
Ideal: What do you think you would eventually like?
Sexual Attraction: To whom are you sexually attracted
Sexual Behavior: With whom have you actually had sex?
Sexual Fantasies: Whom are your sexual fantasies about? (They may occur during masturbation, daydreaming, as part of real life, or purely in your imagination.)
Emotional Preference: Emotions influence, if not define, the actual physical act of love. Do you love and like only members of the same sex, only members of the other sex, or members of both sexes?
Social Preference: Social preference is closely allied with but often different from emotional preference. With members of which sex do you socialize?
Lifestyle Preference: What is the sexual identity of the people with whom you socialize?
Sexual Identity: How do you think of yourself?
Political Identity: Some people describe their relationship to the rest of society differently than their personal sexual identity. For instance, a woman may have a heterosexual sexual identity, but a lesbian political identity. How do you think of yourself politically?
In exploring this tool for yourself, take a moment to figure out what number you would put in each box. Data-driven therapies love a decimal point, so be as specific as you like. You may find that the “ideal” category gives you the most difficulty. This one is looking at what you think you will define yourself as in the future. Take your best guess as to what you think you will like in five years, then ten. Where do you see yourself going?
I like using this tool with others to help them explore what has changed for them across the timeline of their lives. The “past” column does not usually line up perfectly with the “present” or the “ideal” column, and isn’t that good information to have about yourself?
One thing I think is missing from this tool: the measurement of romantic attraction. Particularly amongst us bisexuals, who we want to go on dates with, who we want to define as our “partner” or “significant other,” and who we want to be in a romantic relationship with, may not line up perfectly with who we want to be sexually intimate with.
Exploring Your Sexual Orientation with the Klein Grid
Once you have filled out these many squares, it can be a great moment for reflection. Here are some questions to ask to get you thinking. What parts of this grid surprised you? Many bisexual people experience the pressure to “prove” their sexuality, to live up to some queer ideal. It can leave many of us feeling a kind of imposter syndrome; like if we don’t live along the perfect middle line then we are not queer enough. Where is “queer enough” located on this grid? Do you think those concerns showed up for you in the final column? Are there any rows in this grid that stand out? Do most of your numbers fall in the same range? For many people I’ve looked over this grid with, they find that the “social” preferences row is different from all the others. What do you make of this difference?
I hope that in looking at the Klein Sexuality Grid today lots of questions came up for you. I recommend staying non-judgmental about whatever answers showed up for you. One of my takeaways from using this tool is that your answers are likely to change over time, if you grow and explore. This grid can be a guide, showing you more of yourself today, and maybe more of where you’d like to go in the future. Whether you got 100% clarity on any of the numbers today or not, what matters is your willingness to learn about yourself. If you’d like to learn more about sexual orientation alongside a queer therapist, I recommend checking out our therapy services.